Josh Clement, the mutate rights activist/super hero, was reading the morning paper & was looking over the classified ad's. He looked at Proctology's ad for new members. He being (sort of) a bad boy thought about it for a moment: Should he join? But, then thought of that no good ever comes from answering ad's in the paper comes to mind. So, he decides to pass on their offer. Then, his eyes spy another ad: A single, white female is seeking a single male for a romantic encounter. This ad peeks Josh's interest even more, he get on his super hero uniform & speeds off to have an encounter of the sexual kind.
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This morning was Saturday morning & not just any Saturday morning, it was the Saturday that Proctology was excepting applications for new members & all through out the Tri-City area, people are rejecting that call.
-------------------------------
Over at Herringcarp Asylum, Ioldabaoth Winkelweald sat on his throne & mused to himself about this team's activities as he watched them via his Portal of Pretentiousness. He knows that his involvement currently is unwanted but he will get involved when the time comes & it shall!
From her home office, Her Excellency Baroness Elizabeth Sweetwater Dewdrop Zemo von Saxe-Lurkburg-Schreckhausen's attention was brought to this particular ad by her principle minion, Sally Reziliant. But, The Baroness told her minion that she has other far more important duties to attend to like taking over the world! Silicone Sally, as her codename denotes her, thinks she may drop on by herself just because that Pudu Lad is one hot stud!
From the far flung future, Kink the Conqueror or Wang the Conqueror (Which ever floats your boat) was also watching Proctology's activities, but a lass he does doesn't possess a Portal of Pretentiousness, just the ability to see the different time periods via his various futuristic devices. Like always he is fixated on our present. Then, he thinks "What am I doing in this story? This isn't a Round Robin!"
And, so we leave the future to go to a smallish European country by the name of Bovoria, Thighmaster awaits the completion of his Flaming Minions so he can attack Proctology for unlawful use of the name for which he holds the rights to.
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Down on the scenic Parodiopolis waterfront, in the warehouse district & in Warehouse 51: There is the super villain team known as Proctology & they are almost ready for the expected tens of thousands of people to crowd into their warehouse. The team's leader, Ned Bailor, goes out to get the mail. He is wearing his deer themed pajamas, his favorite pair of slippers & a dark green bathrobe. In the mail are some Bills, various Death Threats (most have been miss mailed to them), a couple Restraining Orders (Only a few of them have been miss mailed to them), Ned may already be a winner of a brand new car if he sends in $300 to a company in Guam that Ned has never heard of. At the bottom of the stack was mail Ned actually liked: the latest issues of TV Guide, Modern Malefactor & the comic book, Tales to Admonish.
Ned looks over the cover of MM as he walks back into the warehouse, it has Baroness Zemo on it & cover story is about her recent takeover of the ITC. Other stories inside are part 3 of a 5 part series on proper henching, Where the best places for a secret hideout are, a reprint from April of '03 on Monkey Henchmen & a retrospective on Lord Resolution. Ned puts the rest of the mail on the coffee table in the Living Room/Negativity Zone entrance & kicks back in the recliner to read.
Carl comes in & sits down on the couch, he is eating some of the leftover pizza from last night. Carl picks up the remote & turns on the TV. Then, he put his feet up on the coffee table (On top of the rest of that day's mail). Carl starts to flip through the channels. When the TV comes it on, there is a rerun from the Comedy/Drama series, Desperate Housecats: "Now what Bree didn't know was that her cat was having an affair with the Gardener's cat." said the dead woman who serves as that show's narrator.
Carl flips the channel over to the '80's hit movie "When Sherrie met Sally" & the infamous orgasm scene at the diner. "I'll have what's she's having" said a nebbish looking jewish lady.
*Click*
Next was a Dr. Phil episode: that day's guests were Bipolar Bears & their trainers. Carl flips over to a VH1 retrospective on 2004 (Hal Sparks was talking about Michael Ian Black) then Carl flips over to the sci-fi show "The Accursed", it was a rerun. So, Carl flips to the next channel. There was an episode of the Frogman cartoon on . That episode had Goldeneyed as a special guest star. Carl watched it for a few minutes & then, Carl flipped over to another cartoon, Affirmative Action Team: "Affirmative Action Team GO!" said the empowered black male leader of the team. His multiracial team ran off to combat evil.
*Click*
Carl flipped over to a commercial for Zeku brand products & then on to a commercial for The Gwen Stacy Candy Bar. When you drop it, she breaks her neck & then you can see the chewy Green Goblin nougat inside! Carl flips to the next channel. "Today's secret ingredient is... Frosting!" said the host of a remake of a far better asian show.
*Click*
On the next channel was actor & certified nutjob, Tom Cruise giving an interview or that's what Carl assumed was happening before what he saw on the screen: A laughing maniacally Tom Cruise jumping up & down on a couch. Clinched in his right hand was the head of his girlfriend/fiancé, Katie Holmes. This prompted Carl to change the channel to a new reality show: Celebrity Red Hot Poker Showdown. Ned looked up from his magazine, he likes to see celebrities get hurt for no reason. The show was down to the head to head competition: it was between Hilary Duff & Alex Trebek. Host, Dave Foley, gave each one of them a new red hot poker & they were off. Duff got a few good pokes in, but Trebek was the ultimate winner when he got in a good gut shot & burned away Duff's lower intestine. Next week, Trebek will go against Willie Garson for the silver platted poker chip & a half a million dollars. Carl flips the channel & settles on a nice Car Makeover show:
"What up, dawg? This is the Pimp Master of Ceremonies himself!" the host, Xzibis-Shawn (The world's only Gay Rapper) said. "I'm here to help trick out Emily's sad sack of an '84 Dodge Charger! Let's get crack-a-lacking!"
Carl put down the remote & started to watch. Carl knows it's stupid, but for some reason he's drawn to watch it. Ned goes back to magazine, he was looking to see if his letter was printed & was replied to. It wasn't, so once again Ned's attempts to get a date with the diabolical Dr. Moo have been thwarted.
A few minutes later, Jonas walked in. He was dressed up in an all white suit.
"Are you two ready?" He asked. They looked over at him & he got the sense that the answer was no.
Then, Ned asked after looking over Jonas "Why aren't you wearing your costume? I was planning on wearing mine!"
"The yellow spandex getup you are referring to was the costume that the Living Statement wore."
"yeah. So?"
"He's dead. I, being the Undead Living Statement, prefer to wear this." Jonas said & motioned to his suit.
"oh." Ned said. Ned's noticed that since Jonas died he's kind of a jerk. He was more fun when he couldn't say much.
Then, Carl asked "Something I've wondered for awhile: why do you call yourself the Undead Living Statement & not just the Undead Statement?"
"I was the Living Statement, I died & then came back. So, I'm now undead hense the name change to The Undead Living Statement. It's not that hard to understand."
"Still sounds odd to me." Carl almost mumbles.
"Well excuse me, Mr. Hobo Volvo!"
Carl didn't reply. Jonas was about to ask what Carl would be wearing for the auditions? But, then he remembered that Carl hardly ever changes his clothes. So, Jonas didn't ask & went off to make sure everything was ready.
-------------------------------
It was now 10 am. So, Jonas & Ned opened the doors to their Warehouse so people could easily come in. The team was all dressed nicely (except for Carl, but he had put on his cleanest of T-Shirts. It had only 3 stains on it!). The team was gathered around a circular table with the word "Maverix" etched into it. They got the table cheep from an estate sale down the street. The table came with chairs, too! Ned sat in the middle, on either side of him was Jonas & Carl. Next to Carl was Cactus Chef (he was placed on a chair). Next to Jonas, on the table, was Star-Fish. Star was floating around happily in his fish bowl. Behind the group was Ed. They all sat there at the table patiently awaiting the first applicant.
-------------------------------
It was now 11 o'clock & now one had come in, yet. Ned asked out of boredom "Do you think Bugs sweat?
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It was now Noon.
"Carl! Don't eat the hors d'oeuvres!" Jonas yelled over to his teammate.
"Why?" Carl said with a mouth full of food.
"Those are for the applicants!"
"What applicants?" was Carl's reply.
-------------------------------
It was now 1 o'clock & they had one person come so far. They came in to ask for directions to Off-Central Park.
At 1:30, another person came in but they were also lost & were looking for directions to the Bean & Donut.
At 1:45, Carl said "Bugs have to sweat! All things sweat!"
"Dogs don't!" Ned replied.
-------------------------------
It was now 2 o'clock & only one other person had come in. This time it was because of their ad! They were from The Planetary Bugle & was there to collect on the fee for running the ad.
At 2:45, they were asked if they wanted something called Detonator Hippos. Not knowing what they were, they declined the offer.
-------------------------------
At 3 pm, Ned posed a question about Lisa & Dancer mud wrestling & who would win? This discussion started a series of questions that ranged from: Dolphin, Menace or Ally? Who's your favorite Pop Star? What's your favorite Pop Tart? What to do you think about spiffy's handling of the Badripoorian government? These were among other questions. This discussion went on for about an hour until...
-------------------------------
... Around 4 pm, a section of the warehouse's roof caved in. The roof section fell directly on to the meeting table, which then collapsed under the weight. The team scattered away from the table & ceiling rubble. Ned quickly picked up Star before he & his bowl was crushed. Cactus Chef fell off his chair & rolled away.
"Well, my teammates have been quite ambitious while I've been away! Haven't you?" said a voice.
"What do you mean Teammates?" Ned questioned & once the dust had settled, Proctology could see in all his glory their former leader (& for some murderer), Thighmaster! The Ruler of Bovoria was floating down through the hole in the ceiling on a circular disc. Behind him was his manservant, Browning.
"You know what? That guy sort of looks like Terry Thomas!" Carl said.
"Who?" Ned replied.
"The guy with the cape!" Carl said pointing up at Thighmaster.
"I knew that. But, who's Terry Thomas?"
"You know! That guy from It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World! We just watched it last week! Don't you remember?" Carl said.
Ned knew the movie, but not the guy. And to avoid further explanation, he replied "yeah." Then, went on to say "I always thought Thighmaster looked a little like Steve Buscemi?"
"I guess I can see that?" Carl replied.
Star-Fish started to gurgle his choice of who he thought Thighmaster looked like.
"Yeah. I could see that, too." Carl said.
"NO! I look like a young Tom Cruise." Thighmaster said. "And, don't you ever interrupt me while I'm monologuing!"
"Sorry." Ned said.
Thighmaster's platform had stopped a few feet above the group & as he looked down at the team, Thighmaster said & then pointed at Ned. "Hey! What are you doing here?"
"I live here & I'm the leader of this group."
"No, I am the leader & I kicked you out off the team!"
"I came back & no, your not. You left!"
"I also kicked out that loser starfish, too!" Thighmaster said as he pointed to Star-Fish & his bowl, which were set on a piece of equipment that no one there knew what it was for or what it did.
"He also came back." Ned said.
"And I killed you two!" Thighmaster said as he pointed at Jonas & Ed.
"We came back." Jonas said & Ed shook his head in agreement.
Thighmaster then looked over at Carl, he was about to say something but paused a moment. Then, said "I don't even know who you are?"
"Well, I am known as Hobo Volvo & this is Cactus Chef!" Carl said as he held up CC.
"Ok.... Not members I would have picked, but that can be changed shortly. Now, where is spiffy2?" Thighmaster said looking around for the spiffy clone.
"Dead." Ned said.
"How did he die?"
"Weed Whacking incident. He should have never gone after Witchards by himself."
"oh. Where is Spleen Splitter? I always liked him."
"He died in Las Vegas."
"Darn! The only other missing member I can think of is Swingy. Where is he?"
"The Safe."
"oh. I would go break him out but, I didn't really like him anyway."
"Why are you here?" Jonas asked.
"I read your ad & I'm here to stop you!" Thighmaster said, getting back in the monologue mode. He waved a newspaper in his hand as he talked.
"Why?" Ned asked.
"Because I still own the rights to the name Proctology & you can't reform without my consent!" Thighmaster said rather full of himself.
"Reform?" Jonas asked.
"Yes & what did I just say about interrupting me?"
"We never disbanded, you just left the team. After the Las Vegas fight, we made our way back to Parodiopolis, picked up 2 new members along the way & have gone on from there."
"Also, what took you so long if you knew we were still a team? The ad's been in the paper for at least a week or two." Ned asked.
"Customs." Thighmaster said, slightly angry.
"What?"
"I had some frequent flyer miles that I needed to use up, so I used them. So, we got to the Parodiopolis Airport. Then, the airport security knowing who I was, took me aside & searched me."
"You also forgot your passport, sir." Browning said.
"Yes, I also did that. Once I got out of the airport. I had to rent this hover disc & get my minions to together. That takes time! Plus, I knew you losers would still be here."
"Why didn't you just use your diplomatic immunity to avoid the airport security?" Jonas said.
"I can do that?" Thighmaster asked.
"Yes. You are the ruler of a country, aren't you?"
Thighmaster then slapped his forehead in anger & then screamed a bit, because it hurt. "Well, now I know." he said after the pain had gone down a bit.
"And knowing is half the battle!" Ned said, with a slight laugh. No one else got the joke.
"Speaking of battles... Come my Minions & flame on!" Thighmaster yelled.
Then, various males dressed up in a matching black slacks & black sweaters jumped through the hole in the roof. Once they reached the ground, they burst into flames. This made Thighmaster laugh & he raised back up a few feet to avoid being hit.
At that moment, Thighmaster was exploiting a weakness for the team: Hand to Hand combat. In fact, any sort of combat was a weakness for the team. Most of the team was fighting off at least 3 Flaming Minions at once.
"GAH!" Ned said as a part of his costume was set on fire.
Carl using his one & only power: He turned into a Volvo & ran over a few of the minions. Star-Fish was of little use in this fight, sense it was 1: it was not in the water & 2: Star-Fish had fallen asleep. Jonas was the one fairing the best, he could put the Flaming Minions out with a few words. Now, Ned didn't like being on fire, so he put himself out & he said to himself "Oh, now it's on like a bag of doorknobs!"
Then, Ned split into 4 pudu deers. Some of the Flaming Minions laughed at him & while they were distracted, each one of the deers ran up a wall. They did a back flip on to a few minions & the deers proceeded to put them out with their hooves. Ned reformed himself & then went off to make a phone call, he had a question!
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"Hello! The law offices of Dewey, Cheetum & Howe. This is Snookie, how may I help you?" said a vaguely sounding asian woman on the other end of the phone asked Ned.
Ned was standing in a phone booth outside Warehouse 51. "I've got a question!"
"Ok. I'll try to answer it." Snookie said.
"Me & my friends are using a name for our group. Ok?"
"Yes."
"Then, another guy has comes in & said that he holds the rights to that name. Also, that guy said that he was going to sue us for the miss use of the name, can he do that?"
There was silence on the other end & then: "Hmmmm... He may be able to. Do you know how he got the rights?"
"no."
"Mostly it's because He had someone sell them to him. If that's true, he'd have legal proof like a notarized contract signed by the two parties?"
"ok."
"Do you know how long has he had the rights?"
"no."
"Because if it's been longer then 4 years & he hasn't renewed his contract with said original owner, it reverts back your group, I guess."
"Thanks!" Ned said.
Snookie had more to say but the man on the other end hung up, so she returned to her normal duties at Dewey, Cheetum & Howe like holding back Arnie's hair back while he prayed to the Porcelain God.
Ned ran back into the Warehouse. The last few Flaming Minions were still going. Ned sees the overturned car form of Carl, Cactus Chef had been knocked over & some of his potting soil was spread around. Star-Fish was still asleep & Ed had run off. So, the only member left fighting was Jonas. Jonas was tired & then past out from exhaustion. Then, a group of Flaming Minions ganged up on him & started to beat on him. Thighmaster from his floating disc continued to laugh.
Ned avoided the burnt ashy remains of a few minions before he asked "What proof do you have that you own the rights to the name Proctology?"
Thighmaster stopped laughing & said "What?" He wasn't aware that any members of Proctology were still up.
"You heard me!"
"No, I didn't. I was to busy laughing at the defeat of your teammates."
"What proof do you have that you own the rights to the name Proctology?"
"This!" Thighmaster said as he held out a cocktail napkin.
"Can I see it?" Ned asked. As Thighmaster got closer, Ned got more nervous. Thighmaster hovered over to Ned & handed him the napkin. It claimed that Swingy would hand over the name of Proctology in return for a chalet in the Alps.
"Well, actually you should have come to me, since I named the team but that's besides the point. Did you ever give Swingy the chalet?" Ned asked.
"No. I don't have one of those!" Thighmaster said & with a laugh.
Ned thought for a moment & then said. "Then, you don't own the rights to the name Proctology."
"What?" Thighmaster said, astonished.
"One, this isn't a legal document, it's just a napkin. And two, it's not notarized! Three, if this was a contract, you'd need to renew the rights on name every 4 years with Swingy or us & it's been like 4 or 5 years since we last saw you, so I think the time has lapsed." Ned said.
Thighmaster was getting angrier by the moment. No one points out his faults!
"Also, you never gave Swingy his chalet."
"So?" Thighmaster said angrily.
"The way the napkin is worded you needed to have given Swingy the chalet first & then you would get the rights to the name. Since there was no Chalet, no rights were past! That means we, the team known as Proctology, still own the rights to the name! So, get off our property & take your minions with you!"
Thighmaster looked at the napkin, then at Ned & back at the napkin. He mumbles a few words under his breath & they says. "Minions retreat!"
The last few Minions that were still alive & not ashy piles on the floor: got up & wondered away.
-------------------------------
Ned checks his watch & it was now a little after 5 o'clock. That was the time Proctology said they would stop taking applications for new members. So, Ned closes the door to the warehouse.
-------------------------------
It's was now around 8 pm, most of the team was awake & slowly recovering from the fight. Carl woke up first, reverted back to his human form & wondered off somewhere. Ed, who ran off when the fighting started hasn't been seen since. Ned put Star back into his main tank & was now doing fine. Cactus Chef just needed some of his soil put back into his pot & then, he was fine. So, all that is left was Jonas. His neck was broken & he was badly burnt all over. Ned was sitting on the pile of rubble, that was now covering the meeting table, waiting for Jonas to wake up. Jonas had have broken his neck a few times since he's become undead & had some back. He also told Ned once that don't assume his dead dead but to wait awhile before planning his funeral. So, Ned has been waiting. At least once an hour, he goes over & pokes the body. Jonas hasn't responded, yet. So, Ned will give Jonas until Monday or until he starts to smell.
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An hour passes & then Jonas starts to move. He gets up a few minutes later & dusts himself off.
"hey." Ned says.
"Hello." Jonas says as he unbreaks his neck. "So, did you we defeat him?"
"yeah, I guess. He left."
"Good. How did you do it?"
"I went all legal on him!"
"Good. Sometime the indirect way is the best way." Jonas says & then looks down: He has a metal spike sticking out of him. "oh, great." Jonas says & pulls the spike out. He walks over to Ned & sits down on the rubble then asks: "So, how is everyone?"
"We're a little banged up, but ok. Ed ran off somewhere."
"He'll be back. How are you?"
"Good, I guess." Ned said. Then, showed Jonas a place on his side & asked: "Do you think this stain will come out?"
"I think so. It's just blood!" Ned replied.
They shared a laugh, but it hurt when they did.
"Why did we decide to add new members to the team?" Jonas asked.
"To meet girls, Duh!" Ned said with a slight laugh & then grabbed his side in pain.
"Why did we think this was the way?"
"I think we were drunk at the time & it was late in the night, so I seemed like a good idea at the time."
"ok. Let's not do this again." Jonas said & then got up. He started to walk off & then turned around. "Ned?"
"Yeah, Jonas?"
"Your going to be fine, we'll all be fine."
"Thanks." Ned said & then he was feeling better.
"I'm going to bed. We've had a busy day!" Jonas said as he hobbled off to bed.
"Yes, we have." Ned thought & as Jonas walked off, Ned looked up at the night sky & thought "Mr. Smith is going to be mad at for putting a hole in his warehouse's roof."
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EPILOGUE:
Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean....
Thighmaster, Browning & the last few remaining Flaming Minions are on their hover disc. Thighmaster is piloting the craft back to Bovoria. Browning is standing behind him & the Flaming Minions are sitting down in the back. They are all in silence & Thighmaster is going over that day's attack over & over in his head. It should have been an easy attack, but it didn't end in his favor (much like most things that he's done).
"I've ruled the universe! I’ve beaten the Lair Legion, a couple of times! I've held the United Nations for ransom! I've lead various villainous teams on various villainous missions! Most were against the vile ManMan, but that's beside the point! I'm an force to be reckoned with!" He thought to himself.
Then, Browning breaks his master's train of thought & says: "Sir. Just to info you: We don't actually own this hoover disc. We rented it, remember? And I just looked at my watch, the disc was to be back at the rental place an hour ago."
This fact was the last straw that broke the camels back. Thighmaster puts the disc on autopilot, turns around, picks up one of the Flaming Minions & throws them into the ocean. As Thighmaster does this, He & his Minion both scream for two very different reasons.
Once Thighmaster was back at the controls, Browning asks: "What was that for, sir?'
"I didn't need to know that about the Hover Disc. I'm already having a bad day as it is!" Thighmaster snapped at his Manservant.
"But, why did you throw the minion into the ocean?"
"I was thinking about throwing you in, but your important! So, I threw him in instead."
"oh. Thank you, sir." Browning said with a small bow.
"Your Welcome." Thighmaster said & the rest of the trip was in silence.
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THE END!
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Some may think I'm crazy to put in this many FOOTNOTES, but I don't care!
-You can read part 1 of this story here. It's also where you can read their Ad!
-For those you don't know & should by now, the members of Proctology are: Pudu Lad (Ned Bailor, current Leader), The Undead Living Statement (Jonas Hollister), Star-Fish, The Undead Mister Ed, Hobo Volvo (Carl) & Cactus Chef. Former members have been: Swingy, Master of the Swinging Arts (Former Leader), Thighmaster (Former Leader), Spleen Splitter & spiffy2.
-Josh Clement is also known as De Brown Streak & his appearance here was inspired by his reply to part one of this story: No good ever comes of these adverts .
-Ioldabaoth Winkelweald is rumored to be the "real" name of the master villain known to all as The Hooded Hood.
-Her Excellency Baroness Elizabeth Sweetwater Dewdrop Zemo von Saxe-Lurkburg-Schreckhausen has her own series called "The Baroness" & is wonderfully written by J. Jonah Jerkson. "Silicone" Sally Reziliant is a costar in that series. Also in a resent story, it was revealed that The Baroness had boughten/taken over the Inter-dimensional Transportation Corporation (ITC).
-Kink the Conqueror/Wang the Conqueror are two aspects of the same purple-clad time-traveling warlord tyrant who is known invade the present from time to time. This normally happens during a "Round Robin" & apparently he can break the fourth wall, too.
-Modern Malefactor is the magazine by Villains for Villains. The Monkey Henchmen article from April of '03 is actually from one of the MM covers Visionary did.
-Lord Resolution is the personification of an ancient prophesy that would end the Parodyverse in a conflict known as the Resolution War (How convenient!). After being defeated twice & some time as a captive of the Dead Lords of Hell, he retreated somewhere to rethink his strategies & hasn't been heard from in awhile.
-I got the Tales to Admonish comic book reference from one of the many things Ian has archived on his website. It's like a mini Moon Public Library. But, on the internet & not on the moon!
-The Television shows Carl flips through are mostly parodies of what you'd find currently on TV except for: The Gwen Stacy Candy Bar, The Affirmative Action Team cartoon, The Sci-Fi show "The Accursed" (which was first mentioned in a Semi-Transparent Lad story), The Frogman Cartoon (Frogman is a sometime sidekick to Goldeneyed) & The Zeku Brand Products commercial (which is a reference to the Nitz the Bloody stories, which are written by the poster of the same name).
-Dr. Moo's real name is Daio Waltz. She is a cow-masked bioengineer villainess with the ability to control dairy products & is Lisa's older sister. Daio owns a pet rat named Davidowicz. Also apparently, Pudu Lad has crush on her.
-Jonas' "costume" reference comes from his & Proctology's first appearance. You can part 1 of that story here & part 2 here. These stories were written by spiffy!
-Before Jonas died, he had to keep telling himself to breath, circulate blood around his body & basically everything else that keeps a body alive. But, since He has dead: He doesn't need to do that anymore & can now speak his mind.
-The Maverix were a short lived team of young super heroes (& are a parody of the DC Comics' team, the Outsiders). To the best of my knowledge: they have broken up. The Maverix were created by Killer Shrike.
-Off-Central Park & The Bean Donut are two famous Parodiopolis Locations. Dancer, in her secret identity as Sarah Shepardson, works at the Bean & Donut.
-The Planetary Bugle is one of the local newspapers. Other local paper's include: The Parodiopolis Times, The Parodiopolis Daily Trombone, The Gothametropolis Squire & The Goth Haven Times.
-Detonator Hippos are belligerent genetically-engineered hippos that can explode & reform at will. They have some sort of connection to Sir Mumphrey Wilton. Why or Who would be giving away Detonator Hippos is unknown!
-Badripoor is a South Asian coastal city-state who recently elected Mark Hopkins (The hero known as spiffy) as their President (I think the Hooded Hood had some involvement in that election). spiffy is also one of the first people Proctology had fought & have gone up against him a couple more time since.
-People's guesses on who Thighmaster looks like comes from a few people. ManMan, who created TM, said he looked like Terry Thomas. Killer Shrike thought he looked like Steve Buscemi. I made up the "young Tom Cruise" reference.
-Weed Witchards is part of the group called the Four Challengers of the Fantastic Unknown. He is also a brilliant scientist in the fields of robotics, physics & inter-dimensional travel.
-The Las Vegas Fight is from this Proctology story & was written by ManMan.
-The Safe is a maximum security prison designed to contain super-villains. It's on Flanagan Island, which is just off the coast of Gothametropolis York.
-Pudu Deers can actually climb trees. That's why I had them climbing walls during the fight. To learn more about the Pudu, go here. It's site on them from my local Zoo.
-Snookie, the receptionist at the law offices of Dewey, Cheetum & Howe comes from the Arnie J. Armbruster stories (which are written by the poster of the same name). Snookie is described as looking vaguely asian, so that's why I thought she'd sound vaguely asian, too.
-Ned actually named the team & not Swingy as I previously thought. To read about this, go to read Proctology's first appearance (Which I've linked previously in this footnote section).
-To read about Thighmaster's accomplishments & defeats: read his appearances in the ManMan stories.
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